On Community

Teachers need Teachers

(My old Art Academy friends…I miss them all!!! Michelle, Reid, Teina <3)

I’ve been teaching full-time for 15 years. My first year teacher-self would not believe I’d still be here in the classroom, but I am, and I wish I knew then, the secret to making this teaching life bearable. As with all things hard in life, it’s this: you gotta have teacher friends, and by friends, I mean true, deep, community at work.

(My work wife!)

I avoided for a long time, feeling like I was supposed to do all of it alone. But the truth is the opposite. If you’re a newish teacher, you need your school tribe or you won’t make it in this profession for long. And to belong to a tribe, you need to put yourself out there and make ADULT FRIENDS! Fellow introverts, I know this is a hard call to action, but having good friends at work means the difference between just surviving and thriving.

I needed friends where I work. Friends keep you afloat. They make burdens lighter when you need help carrying them. They sit in your room with you so you don’t have to be alone while you are giving testimony (having a panic attack) during an online meeting because you have been subpoenaed by the court system. They make fun of you, always to your face. They hang out with you before, during and after school. They make up nicknames for you that mostly you find horrible, but you go with it for the sake of hilarity. They process with you, go to bat for you, have your back when you have those awful emails and can’t get out of meetings. They celebrate with you when report cards are done on time and empathize with you when they are not!

(Some of my people, plus my work husband!)

Simple but profound, it took me YEARS of crying in different school bathrooms, in hallways and next to copiers in the teacher lounges, for me to figure this out. I walked through the first part of my teacher life with the belief that I didn’t need to deeply connect with anyone at work, because I had a close tribe outside of school and that was enough to fulfill me—and to a large degree it is. But what I didn’t realize until many years on, is that when I’m at school, I need a tribe there too—the loyal-er, this hilarious-er, the wackier, the real-er, the better! All along the answer to making it as a teacher long-term, at least for me, was BOTH, AND. I didn’t need to choose between having close friends outside of work or inside of work—I could, and needed both for my life to thrive.

(Our awesome faculty!)

I’m at peace with myself and my work these days, in ways I’ve not been before. I can’t believe how many years and friendships I missed out on because I had an unspoken rule that I had to do this all by myself. But no more. This is my work tribe and I found a place that I belong. I hope you do too. <3